Why Jose Mourinho Is Just A Monumental Tw*t

When Jose Mourinho was about to return to the Premier League, the British media went crazy. People were beside themselves with excitement, unable to wait for God himself to return to our league and grace us all with his mere presence.

But now he’s show himself not to be the “Special One” or the “Happy One”, he’s just proven he’s the “Fucking Stupid One”.

He threw his toys out of the pram when West Ham earned a draw at Stamford Bridge, with the laughable notion that Sam Allardyce’s side “parked the bus”, despite the fact he did exactly the same against Arsenal and Manchester United earlier in the season.

And I’m not a fan of Allardyce by any stretch of the imagination, but his reaction to Jose’s rant was priceless:

And now we have the apparent feud with Arsene Wenger. You don’t need to tell me how ridiculous the “Specialist in Failure” comments are, and how Arsene has overseen a massive stadium move and had to work with limited funds. Mourinho however has spent more money on transfers as a manager than any other manager in world football. Probably, but you get my point.

Jose Mourinho has previous when it comes to being a monumental twat, and here are some of his career highlights:

His Purchases In The Transfer Market

With a bottomless pit of money, obviously you will use it and Mourinho was no exception. Arsenal fans will tell you about Arsene’s ability to buy young talent and mould them into world class players. We have Thierry Henry, Patrick Vieira, Nicolas Anelka, Gael Clichy, Cesc Fabregas, Bobby Pires, Kolo Toure, Manu Eboue – the list is endless. Don’t get me wrong, Wenger has had his fair share of donkeys in his time. Remember Francis Jeffers? Remember Richard Wright?

Well whatever Arsene’s poor buys have added up to, they surely don’t even come close to the value of Mourinho’s crap purchases.

We have Mateja Kezman (£5.4m), Tiago (£10m), Paulo Ferreira (£13.3m), Michael Ballack (Free), Andriy Shevchenko (£30m) and Asier del Horno (£8m) to name but a few over the years. And Eto’o is setting the world alight isn’t he?

Great stuff.

And some of Mourinho’s best players, Lampard, Terry and Joe Cole were already there, and if you think back you will remember that Petr Cech and Arjen Robben were actually Claudio Ranieri signings.

Tapping Up Ashley Cole

Then there is Mourinho’s disregard for even the simplest rules. Because he had a so-called ‘left-back crisis’ he saw fit to meet Cashley Cole behind Arsenal’s back, despite the fact he was under contract to Arsenal Football Club. Yes, Cole is hardly blameless either but for a ‘top manager’ to even do this is completely ridiculous. Would SAF or AW do this?

This would be a damaging matter that would start from late January until late September of 2005, covering most of the season where Arsenal would finish second to Chelsea in the Premier League. Arguably one of Arsenal’s best talents and Arsenal fans would leave for Chelsea just one season later after Arsene Wenger allowed him to leave, and after playing him in one of the biggest games in World Football – the Champions League Final.

Mourinho himself was fined £200,000 for his part in the saga, which was reduced to £75,000 on appeal. Not a bad price for poaching one of the best left backs in English football.

The Anders Frisk Affair

During the 2004/2005 Champions League campaign and during a game against Barcelona and the Camp Nou, Jose Mourinho publicly accused referee Anders Frisk of ‘inviting Frank Rijkaard to his dressing room at half time’ which is against UEFA regulations.

Anders Frisk would receive death threats after Mourinho’s public tongue-lashing and after severe criticism from Chelsea fans, Chelsea players and Chelsea management. Only weeks later, Frisk would cut short his 18 year career as a referee because of death threats towards him and his family.

Mourinho on the other hand would receive a two match touchline ban.

And Volker Roth, the UEFA referee’s chief would later call Jose Mourinho “an enemy of football.”

Quite an accolade, Jose.

A year later again in the Champions League, Barcelona fans would greet Mourinho with abuse and spitting when he arrived in Catalan, and he would experience even more on the way to the team hotel.

Other Feuds & Controversies

One incident Arsenal fans will remember are Mourinho’s comments where he called Arsene Wenger a ‘voyeur’ who was obsessed with Chelsea. Jose would also reveal having a 120 dossier which was full on comments Arsene has made about Chelsea. Mourinho would realise how stupid he was making those comments and would later apologise to Arsene in the form of a greeting card.

In December 2006, Mourinho was in the headlines again – this time labelling Everton’s Andy Johnson a ‘cheat and untrustworthy’. This would prompt Everton to threaten with legal action, and force Mourinho to apologise yet again for his outlandish statements.

He then of course called Double Player of the Year Cristiano Ronaldo ‘ill-educated, disrespectful and immature‘, for which Mourinho apologised yet again…

And there was the goal Luis Garcia scored in the Champions League against Chelsea, where had another public tantrum about the goal being allowed in the first place. A top motion expert argued said it was actually over the line, and Rafa Benitez pointed out that Baros should of had a penalty for the initial incident anyway if the goal hadn’t of stood. Something which obviously slipped the mind of Jose Mourinho.

The ‘Special One’s’ Love For Chelsea

Before even joining Chelsea, Jose Mourinho would publicly declare how he would much rather join Liverpool, citing several reservations about joining Chelsea.

And if Jose loves Chelsea so much, surely he would just get on with his job?

Instead he managed to get involved in all kinds of backroom politics, seemingly looking for an excuse for an arguement. Well it looks like he got what he wanted, which was a £20 million plus pay off from the club he ‘loves’ so much.


The problem is the word ‘great’ is banded around far too much, especially with the excessive media coverage we get in this modern age. 24 hour sports news channels, endless football websites – these need to fill time and space and what better way to go well over the top about Jose Mourinho.

We have every man and his dogs opinion on how ‘amazing’ Jose was, and it’s amazing people forget someones faults and failings when they are gone.

Yes, he was probably Chelsea’s ‘greatest ever’ manager but that’s not exactly hard with their “history” is it?

But the media love him because he always has a story. They say Arsene is the king of spin but Mourinho sets his own agenda and the press love it. It’s easy having Mourinho around to create the stories and set the tone, with more and more demand for fresh, new stories.

But people are starting to see what Jose Mourinho really is – a paranoid, control freak who says things for shock value. He loves the attention but craves it so much people are realising he spouts a lot of shit.


4 thoughts on “Why Jose Mourinho Is Just A Monumental Tw*t

  1. Sky sports news have a special room the presenters have to go in every time Mourinho’s name is mentioned and have one off the wrist.

  2. Mourinho is suffering from depression since he’s come back. his face is etched with so much misery and unhappiness. Inevitably it comes out in what he says. hes not funny anymore. just brings an ugliness to english football. cant wait until abramovic sacks him again. “He is the grumpy one”


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